Today, I am thankful for people who are brave enough to put their thoughts, their heart and their lives in book form. I am currently reading 8 different books that I believe are all life-changing. I am so grateful that someone decided to get out of their box, overcome their fear, and GO FOR IT!
Besides God, who authored the best Book ever, I am also very impressed by anything Dr. Taylor Hartman has written, and most recently, Dr. Brene Brown's work. There are many others, of course. I am just so thankful that people put their inspired thoughts in writing for all of us to gain from.
I plan on writing at least on book myself, eventually. I've always thought I would, and for now, I am working on discovering truth, developing gratitude, and overcoming shame. When it is time to put my life in a book, I want it to be able to change lives for the better.
Thank you to every author who speaks the truth and provides information and strategies to overcome our limitations!
Sunday, March 13, 2011
Saturday, March 12, 2011
10-Watercolors
I am reading a book written by Dr. Brene Brown called The Gifts of Imperfection. It is an amazing and challenging work, one which I will read and reread many times. In one of the last chapters, she covers the concept of creativity, and how important it is to our well-being.
You'd have to read the book to get the full effect, and I strongly recommend that you do, but the main point as it pertains to this blog entry is this: everyone is creative, so make time to be!
Today, I sat down with three of my kids and a new set of watercolors. We painted whatever we wanted to, without worrying about winning any contests or fulfilling any obligations. It was thoroughly enjoyable, and I plan to do it regularly.
So today, I am thankful for watercolors! :)
You'd have to read the book to get the full effect, and I strongly recommend that you do, but the main point as it pertains to this blog entry is this: everyone is creative, so make time to be!
Today, I sat down with three of my kids and a new set of watercolors. We painted whatever we wanted to, without worrying about winning any contests or fulfilling any obligations. It was thoroughly enjoyable, and I plan to do it regularly.
So today, I am thankful for watercolors! :)
Thursday, March 10, 2011
#9 - My dad, Dr. Paul W. Syltie, Ph.D
On Father's Day of last year, I posted a note to my dad's Facebook page listing the top ten reasons why I am thankful that he is my dad. He called me about a month ago, and I asked him if he had ever seen the note. Well, it turns out that he had deleted his Facebook account altogether and never saw it. I thought it would be a good idea to repost here, as I am again and still and always thankful for my dad.
Top Ten Reasons Why I Am Thankful That Dr. Paul W. Syltie, Ph.D Is My Dad:
1. He was always teaching us kids, no matter where or what. Everything from the clouds in the sky to the plants in our garden became an object lesson. It fostered a love for learning that I still carry with me today.
2. Every summer, he loaded up Mom and the six of us kids and headed on a 2-3 week road trip up north. We lived in Texas, and we would always spend some time at "the folks" in Minnesota before we went out west to Yellowstone, the Tetons, or some other beautiful natural setting. We backpacked in the wilderness, canoed days from civilization, hung our food in trees at night so the bears wouldn't get it, and generally "roughed it". These are my fondest memories from childhood. I am so thankful that I got to experience nature in all its awesome beauty at such a young age. And learning to get along with 5 siblings in a cramped van for days on end equipped me to function wonderfully well in my current huge family!
3. He put a huge emphasis on healthy eating and exercise. Because of his example and teaching, my favorite food, quite literally, is salad.
4. He taught us to think outside the box when it came to doctors and the medical industry. As a result, I experienced four beautiful, natural childbirths. Also, I live without the fear of disease and with an open mind to alternative treatments, and most of all, prevention.
5. He has always been there for me when I needed help. Whether across town or across the state, if I called in desperation, I never doubted, and he always came.
6. He put tremendous importance on giving us kids the best upbringing he possibly could. Even when finances were tight, there was always money for private lessons of every kind. He took time with us every night to read the Bible as a family and made sure we had meals together every day. He drove miles and miles to get us to all our events.
7. Growing up, I always felt safe and protected. I was in college before I realized how valuable that feeling is. If Dad was home, everything was okay - period.
8. He has an accomplished and interesting life as a soil scientist, photographer, and world traveler. It makes for interesting stories with new friends (and great pictures)!
9. He makes GREAT homemade wine!
10. He is a loving grandparent. It is a lot of fun to watch him interact with the next generation, and my kids absolutely love all the interesting things he teaches them. My oldest son, Gideon, went with him on the summer road trip two summers ago and still talks about the good times they had.
Top Ten Reasons Why I Am Thankful That Dr. Paul W. Syltie, Ph.D Is My Dad:
1. He was always teaching us kids, no matter where or what. Everything from the clouds in the sky to the plants in our garden became an object lesson. It fostered a love for learning that I still carry with me today.
2. Every summer, he loaded up Mom and the six of us kids and headed on a 2-3 week road trip up north. We lived in Texas, and we would always spend some time at "the folks" in Minnesota before we went out west to Yellowstone, the Tetons, or some other beautiful natural setting. We backpacked in the wilderness, canoed days from civilization, hung our food in trees at night so the bears wouldn't get it, and generally "roughed it". These are my fondest memories from childhood. I am so thankful that I got to experience nature in all its awesome beauty at such a young age. And learning to get along with 5 siblings in a cramped van for days on end equipped me to function wonderfully well in my current huge family!
3. He put a huge emphasis on healthy eating and exercise. Because of his example and teaching, my favorite food, quite literally, is salad.
4. He taught us to think outside the box when it came to doctors and the medical industry. As a result, I experienced four beautiful, natural childbirths. Also, I live without the fear of disease and with an open mind to alternative treatments, and most of all, prevention.
5. He has always been there for me when I needed help. Whether across town or across the state, if I called in desperation, I never doubted, and he always came.
6. He put tremendous importance on giving us kids the best upbringing he possibly could. Even when finances were tight, there was always money for private lessons of every kind. He took time with us every night to read the Bible as a family and made sure we had meals together every day. He drove miles and miles to get us to all our events.
7. Growing up, I always felt safe and protected. I was in college before I realized how valuable that feeling is. If Dad was home, everything was okay - period.
8. He has an accomplished and interesting life as a soil scientist, photographer, and world traveler. It makes for interesting stories with new friends (and great pictures)!
9. He makes GREAT homemade wine!
10. He is a loving grandparent. It is a lot of fun to watch him interact with the next generation, and my kids absolutely love all the interesting things he teaches them. My oldest son, Gideon, went with him on the summer road trip two summers ago and still talks about the good times they had.
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
#8 - Writing
Today, I am thankful for writing. My husband Tom has never thought of himself as a writer, yet he loves to challenge and stretch himself to get his thoughts on paper. I have always considered myself an excellent writer, yet I find myself very resistant to the consistent discipline of putting my thoughts down daily. Hmmm...
A couple nights ago, Tom and I were evaluating this strange thing called writing. Why is it so hard, especially when the content is so important? Why do some love it and others despise it? Why is there such a universal draw to put our words down on paper? I am highly verbal, and I throw thoughts out like bullets from a shotgun. They hit their target just about as randomly, too. Tom is much more reserved, sometimes refraining from saying things he wishes he had.
We decided that one of the most important benefits we have both realized from writing is that it forces us to define how we really think and feel about things. When I sit down to type, it requires a shift in perspective that takes me outside my little universe. This accomplishes two things. First, I am forced to assume the perspective of the reader, rather than my own. Secondly, it reveals the holes in my processing where I have perhaps skipped a particularly difficult aspect of thought simply because it is easier to brush over in the spoken word.
So today I am thankful for writing. To perpetuate the benefits of writing, I try to write on this blog as often as possible. In addition, I am in the process of writing about the most traumatic event in my life. I have thought about this event almost every day since it happened. I have talked about this event countless times with the people closest to me. Yet, as I try to write about it, deep-seated fears and unresolved pain are surfacing. Until I could see the words in black and white, reading and re-reading them, I had no idea these hole in my healing even existed.
I am so thankful to have the outlet of writing as a part of my journey of self-discovery, healing, and self-improvement. Thank you, Lord, for all the ways you reveal your Truth to me!!
A couple nights ago, Tom and I were evaluating this strange thing called writing. Why is it so hard, especially when the content is so important? Why do some love it and others despise it? Why is there such a universal draw to put our words down on paper? I am highly verbal, and I throw thoughts out like bullets from a shotgun. They hit their target just about as randomly, too. Tom is much more reserved, sometimes refraining from saying things he wishes he had.
We decided that one of the most important benefits we have both realized from writing is that it forces us to define how we really think and feel about things. When I sit down to type, it requires a shift in perspective that takes me outside my little universe. This accomplishes two things. First, I am forced to assume the perspective of the reader, rather than my own. Secondly, it reveals the holes in my processing where I have perhaps skipped a particularly difficult aspect of thought simply because it is easier to brush over in the spoken word.
So today I am thankful for writing. To perpetuate the benefits of writing, I try to write on this blog as often as possible. In addition, I am in the process of writing about the most traumatic event in my life. I have thought about this event almost every day since it happened. I have talked about this event countless times with the people closest to me. Yet, as I try to write about it, deep-seated fears and unresolved pain are surfacing. Until I could see the words in black and white, reading and re-reading them, I had no idea these hole in my healing even existed.
I am so thankful to have the outlet of writing as a part of my journey of self-discovery, healing, and self-improvement. Thank you, Lord, for all the ways you reveal your Truth to me!!
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
#7-Boundaries and Discipline
Provervbs 3:12 - For the Lord corrects those he loves,
just as a father corrects a child in whom he delights.
Today, I am thankful for the concept of boundaries and discipline. I was taught the above scripture from a very young age; it was the explanation I received to the question, "Daddy, why do you spank me?"
As I grew into an adult, I matured into the understanding that our Heavenly Father is just as faithful to correct us when we need it. I have learned to welcome the spiritual swats that give me direct feedback when I stray outside the boundaries of His will.
This morning, I discovered an additional application for this verse. We know we are to love God with all our hearts and our neighbor as ourselves. So the correlation clicked right into place while I was putting mascara on in front of my bathroom mirror. If I love myself, I will discipline myself!!
For the bajillionth time in my life, I currently find myself in a struggle about my weight. It is an issue that has proven to be interconnected with every other thought and action I have. Yesterday, I realized that I am happier when I am thin. And that is a good thing.
So coupled with today's revelation about discipline, I realize I am no different than a child. If I want to be happy and experience the fullness of life God has for me, I need to parent myself carefully. I need to restrict that little toddler inside me that thinks a snack equals a carton of Oreos and half a gallon of milk. I need to say NO to the endearing little girl voice that wheedles, "But I've been sooooo good lately. Can't I just take a little bitty break?" I know that little girl. If I give her an inch on that premise, she will take a mile (and ten pounds, and my health and mental clarity, too).
I can, however, say yes to the disciplined child inside me that wants to enjoy an occasional slice of cheesecake with friends, just because it tastes so darn good. I don't have to stomp on the little kid in me that wants all that fun stuff. But I do have to keep some pretty strict boundaries and, above all, listen to the juvenile reasoning behind the request.
Thank you, Lord, for your Word. Thank you for the Truth that permeates every area of my life. Thank you for clarity in areas of my life that have been clouded with gray for too long. And thank you, thank you for your ever faithful and loving discipline!
just as a father corrects a child in whom he delights.
Today, I am thankful for the concept of boundaries and discipline. I was taught the above scripture from a very young age; it was the explanation I received to the question, "Daddy, why do you spank me?"
As I grew into an adult, I matured into the understanding that our Heavenly Father is just as faithful to correct us when we need it. I have learned to welcome the spiritual swats that give me direct feedback when I stray outside the boundaries of His will.
This morning, I discovered an additional application for this verse. We know we are to love God with all our hearts and our neighbor as ourselves. So the correlation clicked right into place while I was putting mascara on in front of my bathroom mirror. If I love myself, I will discipline myself!!
For the bajillionth time in my life, I currently find myself in a struggle about my weight. It is an issue that has proven to be interconnected with every other thought and action I have. Yesterday, I realized that I am happier when I am thin. And that is a good thing.
So coupled with today's revelation about discipline, I realize I am no different than a child. If I want to be happy and experience the fullness of life God has for me, I need to parent myself carefully. I need to restrict that little toddler inside me that thinks a snack equals a carton of Oreos and half a gallon of milk. I need to say NO to the endearing little girl voice that wheedles, "But I've been sooooo good lately. Can't I just take a little bitty break?" I know that little girl. If I give her an inch on that premise, she will take a mile (and ten pounds, and my health and mental clarity, too).
I can, however, say yes to the disciplined child inside me that wants to enjoy an occasional slice of cheesecake with friends, just because it tastes so darn good. I don't have to stomp on the little kid in me that wants all that fun stuff. But I do have to keep some pretty strict boundaries and, above all, listen to the juvenile reasoning behind the request.
Thank you, Lord, for your Word. Thank you for the Truth that permeates every area of my life. Thank you for clarity in areas of my life that have been clouded with gray for too long. And thank you, thank you for your ever faithful and loving discipline!
Saturday, March 5, 2011
Day 6 - Works Best With Others
I am beginning to think of this thankfulness journal as more of a self-revelation journal! It seems like every time I sit down to write, it ends up being about letting go of what I thought I was about and embracing who God is showing me I really am. There is a whole lot to be thankful for when the truth is being revealed as I hold the mirror up to my life!
Today, I am thankful that God has been so merciful in keeping me surrounded by people throughout my whole life. I know many people that have gone through long periods of aloneness, during which they learned many life-changing lessons. I have often wondered why my life has always been full of lots and lots of people. Yesterday at work, I got a clearer picture.
My oldest daughter Rachel and I have been cleaning a manufacturing facility for the past two years. We have thoroughly enjoyed all the talk time on the 45 minute drive to and from, and we've gotten to know the people who work there like family members. Two months ago, Rachel decided to get some schooling and pursue some other interests, so I took over the cleaning by myself.
I have been pretty proud of the job I am doing, handling the cleaning of the large facility all by myself. I am also proud of the fact that we haven't had to hire help, so all the finances still remain in the household. But yesterday, someone mentioned how I never smile anymore, and I am always in such a hurry. Well, I thought to myself, I AM in a hurry. There is a lot to clean, and it's all up to me, and if I don't stay focused, it will never get done. But, as I mentioned before, these people have become like family, so I took the man's comment to heart. I chose several people whose opinion I value and asked them what they think of the difference, now that I'm cleaning without Rachel. The response was unanimous: "It's just as clean, just not as fun."
Ouch! When we starting cleaning here, Rachel and I decided it would never be about the muddy floors and dirty toilets. It would be about the people. We have prayed for them, cried with them, encouraged them, gone shopping with them, shared lunch with them. We make sure the plant shines, but we have always made it about THEM, not the work. It hit me all at once - in my effort to be the big hero to my family, I had neglected the human element of my job! I had my nose to the grindstone, and it was all about the muddy floors and the dirty toilets. And I was aghast, because people NOTICED! Everyone noticed, even my husband, who wasn't even there while I was cleaning. "You act like you dread going there now", was his first comment when I asked for his input.
So my big plan to save the day all by myself was a dismal failure. But the realization that came out of all this is priceless. Contrary to my former opinion of myself, I am not at my best when I stand alone. I am at my best when I am together with others, when I am actively engaged in the business of building relationships, and when I am consciously putting people before things.
I can look back over my whole life and see God's merciful hand on me when I was born into a family of eight, where I don't remember a single childhood memory where I was alone in the house. I married right after high school and had a bunch of babies of my own. When my first husband left me, God instantly (quite literally) blessed me with Tom. And as if a household of six wasn't big enough, God added Rachel and her two kids three years ago. It is so easy to see, in light of yesterday's feedback, that if I had lived my life by myself and for myself (as I used to dream that I would), building a big, successful career and accomplishing a lot of stuff, I would have missed out on the awesome fullness of relationships and growth God had planned for me.
I am so thankful that I am living a life that is bursting with deep, meaningful relationships that God has blessed me with. I am also very thankful that God has blessed me with a well-paying job that allows me to be a blessing to a bunch more people. I am changing my perspective to bring a more thankful and people-oriented focus back into my work starting next week. Also, Rachel has agreed to come help every Friday, just to add a little more fun back into the mix! Thank you, God, for Your awesome plans! You always know what is best!!!
Today, I am thankful that God has been so merciful in keeping me surrounded by people throughout my whole life. I know many people that have gone through long periods of aloneness, during which they learned many life-changing lessons. I have often wondered why my life has always been full of lots and lots of people. Yesterday at work, I got a clearer picture.
My oldest daughter Rachel and I have been cleaning a manufacturing facility for the past two years. We have thoroughly enjoyed all the talk time on the 45 minute drive to and from, and we've gotten to know the people who work there like family members. Two months ago, Rachel decided to get some schooling and pursue some other interests, so I took over the cleaning by myself.
I have been pretty proud of the job I am doing, handling the cleaning of the large facility all by myself. I am also proud of the fact that we haven't had to hire help, so all the finances still remain in the household. But yesterday, someone mentioned how I never smile anymore, and I am always in such a hurry. Well, I thought to myself, I AM in a hurry. There is a lot to clean, and it's all up to me, and if I don't stay focused, it will never get done. But, as I mentioned before, these people have become like family, so I took the man's comment to heart. I chose several people whose opinion I value and asked them what they think of the difference, now that I'm cleaning without Rachel. The response was unanimous: "It's just as clean, just not as fun."
Ouch! When we starting cleaning here, Rachel and I decided it would never be about the muddy floors and dirty toilets. It would be about the people. We have prayed for them, cried with them, encouraged them, gone shopping with them, shared lunch with them. We make sure the plant shines, but we have always made it about THEM, not the work. It hit me all at once - in my effort to be the big hero to my family, I had neglected the human element of my job! I had my nose to the grindstone, and it was all about the muddy floors and the dirty toilets. And I was aghast, because people NOTICED! Everyone noticed, even my husband, who wasn't even there while I was cleaning. "You act like you dread going there now", was his first comment when I asked for his input.
So my big plan to save the day all by myself was a dismal failure. But the realization that came out of all this is priceless. Contrary to my former opinion of myself, I am not at my best when I stand alone. I am at my best when I am together with others, when I am actively engaged in the business of building relationships, and when I am consciously putting people before things.
I can look back over my whole life and see God's merciful hand on me when I was born into a family of eight, where I don't remember a single childhood memory where I was alone in the house. I married right after high school and had a bunch of babies of my own. When my first husband left me, God instantly (quite literally) blessed me with Tom. And as if a household of six wasn't big enough, God added Rachel and her two kids three years ago. It is so easy to see, in light of yesterday's feedback, that if I had lived my life by myself and for myself (as I used to dream that I would), building a big, successful career and accomplishing a lot of stuff, I would have missed out on the awesome fullness of relationships and growth God had planned for me.
I am so thankful that I am living a life that is bursting with deep, meaningful relationships that God has blessed me with. I am also very thankful that God has blessed me with a well-paying job that allows me to be a blessing to a bunch more people. I am changing my perspective to bring a more thankful and people-oriented focus back into my work starting next week. Also, Rachel has agreed to come help every Friday, just to add a little more fun back into the mix! Thank you, God, for Your awesome plans! You always know what is best!!!
Thursday, March 3, 2011
Day 5 - Don't Beat Yourself Up!
Today, I am thankful for the kind and loving advice of my husband. This week has been a kick in the pants. Every day, I have truly made my best effort to get on here and write something, even if it was small. Five whole days passed with no success. I have been THINKING about things I am thankful for (and, man, there are a LOT!), but the thoughts just never made it to the keyboard.
I was beginning to panic. After all, I've always thought I had a natural strength in daily disciplines such as these. I've frequently used such disciplines to measure how successful I am at life. Not this time! I began my anxious monologue about missing so many days, and before I could really run rampant, Tom's wise and tender words were right there to catch me. "Honey, don't beat yourself up."
Such a simple concept, and one I teach my kids on a daily basis. My eleven year old son wasted his whole morning reading his book instead of getting to his core homeschool work. At lunch time, he realized how late it was and panicked. There I was, reminding him to shake it off, learn from the lesson, and not waste another second beating himself up. That's advice that is easier to dish than to take, at least for me.
So here I am, squeezing a couple of minutes in to put down on paper (or screen, as it were), how incredibly thankful I am that I am married to an encourager. He has helped me see that there is more to life than the strict rules I am forever putting myself in bondage to. He loves me even when I can't seem to keep my 47 daily commitments to myself.
I feel a little more free every day that I practice letting these rules go and I am a little more gentle and kind to myself. Thank you, Tom. You are my biggest blessing from God.
I was beginning to panic. After all, I've always thought I had a natural strength in daily disciplines such as these. I've frequently used such disciplines to measure how successful I am at life. Not this time! I began my anxious monologue about missing so many days, and before I could really run rampant, Tom's wise and tender words were right there to catch me. "Honey, don't beat yourself up."
Such a simple concept, and one I teach my kids on a daily basis. My eleven year old son wasted his whole morning reading his book instead of getting to his core homeschool work. At lunch time, he realized how late it was and panicked. There I was, reminding him to shake it off, learn from the lesson, and not waste another second beating himself up. That's advice that is easier to dish than to take, at least for me.
So here I am, squeezing a couple of minutes in to put down on paper (or screen, as it were), how incredibly thankful I am that I am married to an encourager. He has helped me see that there is more to life than the strict rules I am forever putting myself in bondage to. He loves me even when I can't seem to keep my 47 daily commitments to myself.
I feel a little more free every day that I practice letting these rules go and I am a little more gentle and kind to myself. Thank you, Tom. You are my biggest blessing from God.
Friday, February 25, 2011
Day 4 - Late Nights
I know that technically, since it is after midnight, it is already tomorrow. BUT, my husband and I recently decided that tomorrow actually happens once you go to sleep and then wake up. That doesn't clear up the "I stayed up all night and now it should be tomorrow, but maybe it's still today" problem, but who's really keeping track? The point is, even though it is late, I am still going to be disciplined and write in my thankfulness journal.
Today, I am thankful for late nights. I am one of those people who needs at LEAST eight hours of sleep every night, preferably with a consistent bedtime and arise time. I do even better with ten! My reality looks more like five or six hours, with an erratic bedtime that is usually after midnight and a wake up time ranging from 4:30AM to 2:30PM. I survive on random naps taken out of desperation (mostly my husband's desperation, that is).
But today, I am thankful for late nights. Most of my best people connecting seems to happen after 10PM. Tonight, I spent almost three hours online with a new friend from Canada named Paulette. She is wonderful, and I am so blessed by her.
Lots of nights, the older kids and Tom and I just sit in the kitchen until all hours, reviewing all the stuff that went on that day and talking about how life works and how to love better. In fact, I would have to say that late nights contain some of my most treasured memories.
And besides, how does that saying go? We can sleep when were dead! :)
Today, I am thankful for late nights. I am one of those people who needs at LEAST eight hours of sleep every night, preferably with a consistent bedtime and arise time. I do even better with ten! My reality looks more like five or six hours, with an erratic bedtime that is usually after midnight and a wake up time ranging from 4:30AM to 2:30PM. I survive on random naps taken out of desperation (mostly my husband's desperation, that is).
But today, I am thankful for late nights. Most of my best people connecting seems to happen after 10PM. Tonight, I spent almost three hours online with a new friend from Canada named Paulette. She is wonderful, and I am so blessed by her.
Lots of nights, the older kids and Tom and I just sit in the kitchen until all hours, reviewing all the stuff that went on that day and talking about how life works and how to love better. In fact, I would have to say that late nights contain some of my most treasured memories.
And besides, how does that saying go? We can sleep when were dead! :)
Thursday, February 24, 2011
Day 3 - It's Not a Performance!
Today I am thankful that my life isn't some elaborate performance designed to impress people I don't know and keep the real me hidden from those who love me.
I started this online journal of daily thankfulness 3 days ago. That was exactly 105 days after my husband Tom gave the assignment to our home church group (which, as his wife, I am pretty much a fully vested member of). The reason I know the exact day count is that my nine year old daughter Ella has been 100% faithful to her daily writing. She reminds me every single day of what numbered day she is on. I think she is fascinated at how quickly the days have added up. I'm certain this is the first time she has ever done something consistently for this long (not even tooth brushing has made that list!).
I, however, have been less than fascinated. Tom got the idea for the daily thankfulness journal from his friend Shawn Boreta, who started the discipline over a year ago and is blogging somewhere around Day 465 or so as we speak. My initial reaction to the idea was an immediate, "But I AM thankful, and I have no problem with gratitude!" Hmmm... 105 days later, after yet another major crash and burn brought on by my old critical nature, I finally humbled myself and admitted my tremendous need to begin focusing on what is wonderful, praiseworthy, positive and uplifting in my life. Guess what, Ella?!? I'm on Day 3!!
So last night, I was in a whirlwind of angst about my blog - if it's good enough, if I'm smart enough, if those who read it will like me... In his kind and calming way, Tom turned to me and said, "Anne-Lise, it's not a performance."
Wow! Really? You mean this isn't about impressing everyone or earning the title of world's most fabulous new blogger or most improved thankfulness journal on the worldwide web? The simple statement hit me square between the eyes. And then came the wave of gratitude, washing away my fear of exposure and leaving me looking forward to my next opportunity to put my thankfulness down in writing.
My life hasn't always been this wonderful. I haven't always lived in a family full of loving, supportive people who want what is best for me and are fully dedicated to growing together into the fullness of God's plan for us. I've never realized, until last night, that I don't have to live with a mask anymore - ever. I'm not performing in order to earn someone's love, and I'm not consumed with following the rules just right so I don't get the hammer smashed down on my head. It's pretty freeing, actually, and something I don't plan on taking lightly or forgetting anytime soon.
Thank you, Jesus, that you don't make me dance for my place with you. And thank you, thank you, thank you for blessing me with so very many things to be thankful for. At this rate, I don't see myself ever running out of good material. I'm sure Day 105 will be here before I know it...
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
Day 2 - Speed Bumps
Today I am thankful for speed bumps. Not so much the big concrete mountains whose orange stripes rise up out of nowhere at the last second and bottom out your car as you tear through the parking lot. I'm thinking more of the theoretical speed bumps of life - the big ethereal kind without stripes, that rise up out of nowhere and bottom out your plans for productivity as you tear through your daily to do list. I can't say that gratitude has always been an emotion I've associated with the gut-wrenching momentum shift that follows the big "BUMP", but allow me to share some recent enlightenment.
If life can be likened to a race (which is the first analogy I would pick), I could be likened to an Olympic hopeful in the 100m sprint and the marathon (because I would want to dominate in both speed and endurance, of course). I have spent most of my life, thus far, running the track of life as hard and fast as I could. Practice makes perfect, you know! In my quest for productivity and achievement, people have been my most common speed bumps. When my kids were small, they were quite literally my speed bumps, as I would regularly trip over their diminutive bodies while tearing through the house on some super important mission or other (gotta get that perfectly folded laundry put away before they knock the neatly stacked piles over!).
In all fairness to my mothering skills, over the years I have tried really hard to remember to look down. And thankfully my kids have all grown to a height that they are longer under my line of sight. Oh, if only the rest of life's speed bumps self-corrected over time...
But back to the gratitude part. What I am discovering is that the more relationships I engage in, the more speed bumps my life has. Every time I experience that unexpected, bone-jarring jolt, I am shocked into the present. All at once, I am required to slow down so that I can maneuver a densely populated stretch of life with a little more care and at a much safer speed.
During this slow down, I have come to recognize the beauty of the scenery around me, especially the faces of the people that God has blessed into my life. At this pace, I have the capacity to produce more graceful words, as my thoughts have more time to process. I also get a chance to catch a deep breath or two, a luxury I don't allow myself under normal speeds and circumstances.
I know myself well enough to acknowledge that this "speed bump" speed is not my most favorite, and it isn't one I will stick with once I hit the next open stretch of highway. After all, I've got places to go and things to accomplish! But I am so grateful for these regular interruptions in my life. In fact, they are not really interruptions at all. They are a much needed part of my life - especially as I learn to cultivate the richness of intimate relationships with God, myself and others.
I'm laughing as I try to finish writing this. I've had no less than ten interruptions by my kids (I counted for the sake of accuracy). I had to get up and serve another helping of potatoes - twice! I had to pause and listen to a detailed explanation of a drawing of every sea animal known to man (or at least this seven year old man!), and then provide a list of animals he had left out. I had to give a lesson in cursive to my nine year old and then admire the carefully practiced result. I had to catch up on the latest with my husband as he carefully averted his eyes from my partially-written blog (we have a strict, no over-the-shoulder peeking agreement while our writing is in process). Ahhh... I'm glad four of the kids aren't home yet!
And yet, I still got my thankfulness journal entry done, AND I got to place importance on some of the people that are teaching me the most about love and joy. And every time I paused, I came back with a better perspective, so in fact, this turned out better because of the speed bumps. Thank you, Lord, for every speed bump in my life! :)
If life can be likened to a race (which is the first analogy I would pick), I could be likened to an Olympic hopeful in the 100m sprint and the marathon (because I would want to dominate in both speed and endurance, of course). I have spent most of my life, thus far, running the track of life as hard and fast as I could. Practice makes perfect, you know! In my quest for productivity and achievement, people have been my most common speed bumps. When my kids were small, they were quite literally my speed bumps, as I would regularly trip over their diminutive bodies while tearing through the house on some super important mission or other (gotta get that perfectly folded laundry put away before they knock the neatly stacked piles over!).
In all fairness to my mothering skills, over the years I have tried really hard to remember to look down. And thankfully my kids have all grown to a height that they are longer under my line of sight. Oh, if only the rest of life's speed bumps self-corrected over time...
But back to the gratitude part. What I am discovering is that the more relationships I engage in, the more speed bumps my life has. Every time I experience that unexpected, bone-jarring jolt, I am shocked into the present. All at once, I am required to slow down so that I can maneuver a densely populated stretch of life with a little more care and at a much safer speed.
During this slow down, I have come to recognize the beauty of the scenery around me, especially the faces of the people that God has blessed into my life. At this pace, I have the capacity to produce more graceful words, as my thoughts have more time to process. I also get a chance to catch a deep breath or two, a luxury I don't allow myself under normal speeds and circumstances.
I know myself well enough to acknowledge that this "speed bump" speed is not my most favorite, and it isn't one I will stick with once I hit the next open stretch of highway. After all, I've got places to go and things to accomplish! But I am so grateful for these regular interruptions in my life. In fact, they are not really interruptions at all. They are a much needed part of my life - especially as I learn to cultivate the richness of intimate relationships with God, myself and others.
I'm laughing as I try to finish writing this. I've had no less than ten interruptions by my kids (I counted for the sake of accuracy). I had to get up and serve another helping of potatoes - twice! I had to pause and listen to a detailed explanation of a drawing of every sea animal known to man (or at least this seven year old man!), and then provide a list of animals he had left out. I had to give a lesson in cursive to my nine year old and then admire the carefully practiced result. I had to catch up on the latest with my husband as he carefully averted his eyes from my partially-written blog (we have a strict, no over-the-shoulder peeking agreement while our writing is in process). Ahhh... I'm glad four of the kids aren't home yet!
And yet, I still got my thankfulness journal entry done, AND I got to place importance on some of the people that are teaching me the most about love and joy. And every time I paused, I came back with a better perspective, so in fact, this turned out better because of the speed bumps. Thank you, Lord, for every speed bump in my life! :)
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Day 1 - Truth
Today, I am thankful for Truth! I am glad there is something out there that is so much bigger than me, that was Created by a Being infinitely more wise and loving than me. I love that, no matter what I think I know or how often I change my mind, Truth will always remain the same. I love the reward of discovering Truth: FREEDOM! In my most confused and hopeless moments, I am learning to rest in the fact that Truth will always remain. I am confident that the sword of truth, which pierces through all the extraneous muck of confusion, doubt and self-pity, always reveals the beautiful, simple reality that never changes: TRUTH! Today, as I struggle to define my position in relationships that mean so much to me, I am comforted by the fact that even though I don't know what to do next, I will learn from this struggle. I will discover the truth underneath all this confusion, and I can already rest in the fact that truth is in operation. I am glad that God's Word is Truth and that God is faithful to reveal His Truth to me whenever I am willing to learn. Lord, help me!
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